5. The Pink Yeti
The Pink Yeti was a 37-year-old AV Technician named Bert Hambert. Living in his mother's basement, Bert discovered snowshoeing through an online dating service. Seeking to impress a potential match, Bert rented a pink ape outfit from a costume shop and showed up at the Moose's Goose Snowshoe Hoof Race in Bollingham, Maine. Bert was an instant success with the snowshoe crowd who related to the idea of a Pink Yeti.
Today I have a test for you. I know you weren't expecting one and even mentioning that you'll have to take one has brought that "old fear" upon you again. Relax. There are no wrong answers here. Stand quick! Think tall! Wipe the egg crumbs off your lips and take a long pull from your coffee!
The snowshoe season is nigh; a time to transform one's body and soul into snow stomping shape. In case the weather in your neck of the woods won't allow you to burst out the front door into the drifts just yet, I've compiled a list on how you can get a jump on the competition and put yourself in the right frame of mind:
Bomb the hills. Keep a steady canter. Nothing fancy here. Save the Big Move for the end. There's no room for error in this situation. Wait. WAIT. Calm it down. They're coming back to you. They've BEEN coming back to you. Steady Eddy, steady Eddy, steady Eddy. You know who Eddy is. He's a good guy. Get to know him. Pay attention. Let decisions be made on instinct. You know what to do. This situation is familiar to you. Do not be timid when the real pain comes. It will only be momentary and then it will be over.